Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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