she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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