We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
