There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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