I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no you cant smoke seaweed
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
