when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
