I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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