for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
