Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
