and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize