She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
