My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
