Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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