Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
