Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
