guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
