is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
