The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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