Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
