:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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