My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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