she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
