Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am one with the molecules
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
