I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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