whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
