I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
