just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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