I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
