is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Two words: nipple clamps
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