for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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