don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
