Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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