I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
