I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
