Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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