White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
