TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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