totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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