i just google imaged poop.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
