Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
