i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
