new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
