Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she smelled like a LAN party
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
