I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
