So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
