i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
