She is in my trunk
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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