More tranny stories later!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
