you traded sex for a burrito?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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