addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
